Mr.Mop

I have decided that like great authors, I'll also write fiction based on incidents I've seen and claim that its all fiction. I'll keep doing this till I find a better topic to write on. Not to worry people, I promise that I'll camouflage your real identities to my best and save you the trouble of inflicting pain on me, physical or otherwise.

To start with, I must confess that I wasn't this great, intelligent, smart fellow always. (Comments on this sentences will not be accepted. This is the only true sentence in this post.) I also made silly mistakes and displayed a small degree of stupidity in my childhood like any other kid.( I know its hard to believe). I had a friend named.......well to keep up the above mentioned promise,lets just call him Mr.Mop.

He would always steal the “moments of wonderfully overwhelmingly stupidity” from the gang. Like when the school bullies would tell us to get lost from the ground, Mop would insist we all just play the background music while he faces them all alone. He would be bragging later that he managed to bravely wave his hands and legs at them before he fainted and that he would get them one day.

However, his specialty was hitting the world with bolts of stupidity at times when mortals like us would think nothing can go wrong. He would take everyone by surprise, out of the blue.

Like everywhere, the physical training 'master' in our school was the most dreaded person. Maybe because I was a short fellow, he always looked like a huge angry tower to me. Three or four towers put together would be better description.
(There used to be a rumor that he used to be a sumo wrestler before he joined our school.)
( There used to be another rumor that he was disqualified due to overweight and height).

Coming back, no one would dare look our PT master in the eye, forget about laughing at his totally bald, shiny head. The reason behind the perennial grimace on his face and his antipathy towards fellow humans was a mystery.( There was a rumor on this too...that our master's wife was an even larger sumo wrestler and that he volunteered to be her lifelong punch bag).

Here's what Mop did. On one sunny day that went on to be extremely hot and sultry, after an especially painful PT session, the bell rang. Now to change classes all the students and teachers had to cross the ground. Amidst such action, Mop's curiosity reached a new high. He suddenly shouted,

“Sir, at what age did you lose your hair? Why don't you try hair transplant, I saw the Ad on TV yesterday”.

Fortunately for Mop, there were too many witnesses around, so all that the dreaded sumo could do was wrench his lips into something resembling a smile and leave.

There was another episode in which we were in a bank and Mop, mustering the most sinister smile he could manage, went up to an old man and said, "Thats a lot of cash in your bag (pause for effect) uncle, (again pause for effect) must be heavy".

We barely escaped that day.

After such enlightening episodes, we all learnt to be ready for Mop's brainwaves, half expecting him to go up to the local policeman and ask him if he was really a policeman of a thief in disguise.